Choices

Everyday, we are thrust into situations wherein we are required to make decisions, solve problems and make choices. Sometimes they can be small, seemingly irrelevant things, such as “should I wear blue or red today?” or if you are trying to decide whether you will be having beef or chicken for dinner. Other times though, situations call for us to make tough choices. These are the choices that either take us an extremely long time to make or those choices in which we are required to make in a short amount of time without being able to create a rational thought about our decisions.

Regardless of what type of decision it comes down to, seemingly irrelevant or vitally important, the decision is still ours to make. Sometimes I wonder why we are given such power. It’s an extremely powerful thing, decisions, choices. It makes me wonder if we are qualified enough to make the decisions we are required to make.

Lately, I’ve been required to make decisions not only for myself, but choices that will affect other people. That’s a scary thing for me. For others, it’s very easy to make decisions that will alter other people’s lives. Not for me. I am one of those people who thinks twice before making a decision for myself, let alone making decisions that will affect others. Every decision I have made usually has a lot of thought put into it. Rarely do I make choices without having gone through a pro/con list either on paper or in my head. One of the most drastic choices I made in life which affected not only myself but many others as well was my decision to move to the Philippines. It was a choice I made rushed; in less than a week.

 Could you imagine? This is a choice that will affect my education, my social life, my career, my future. And yet, I decided to make it a snap decision.

The main reason why I made such a hasty decision was that it was a time in my life that I felt like I was stuck. I needed to either do this or remain stuck where my mind, my whole self was at the time. So, I did it.

But now, the decisions I have to make have to be calculated. They have to be based on sound judgment, they have to be concise, with full knowledge of all the benefits and consequences such a decision would create. And even more so than the rest, I have to make sure that I have thought about its short and long term effects.

I’m not a child anymore, as much as I’d like to fight it. I’m now an adult with adult decisions. Being in the position that I am also makes me liable for the choices I make. It’s a matter of doing the right thing sometimes and wanting to please others.

As a professional, I have been called many things. Some have called me an emotional decision maker, others have called me biased, others deem me impartial and many more have labeled me cold and heartless in my decision making processess.

I think about what they say, sometimes. But most of the time, the decisions I make are sound and just. Yes, there are times, like others said that it may be slightly biased, it may have been made with some emotion or rather. But let’s be honest and fair, I’m only human and those are human characteristics.

Regardless what people say though, I always tend to stick to my decisions, employing those pros and cons, and after having had deliberations with people that I find the most influential people in my life today or have been in the past. They are usually the ones outside of the situation. They are people who I know will give me an outsider’s look on the situation. I rely on them so much, sometimes I believe it’s a good thing, but my dad always taught me to make sure that at the end of it all, the decision is mine.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. That’s all I have to say now. I mean, read that. This is the worst writing I’ve done ever. EVER.

I just need some time away. Away from everything. Choices. haaaay. Choices. urgh. lol. I’m letting out some frustration, obviously.

The End. (…of this blog post, but not of the frustration.)