The Hard Choice

A lot of people wonder why it is that they are always getting hurt. They ask themselves why fate has been cruel and has thrown them a destiny full of pain and sorrow. There’s only one answer to this soliloquy-type question. The reason that we get hurt is because of that one choice that we make. This is the one choice that we seem to forget we made on our own free will after someone has shattered our hearts into thousands of tiny pieces.

We make a choice to be with someone, and sometimes it’s not a popular choice. It’s not a popular choice with family, and friends and sometimes even your own conscience and yet, this is the choice we decide to make. What I’m talking about is the leap of faith we take when we decide that we are going to invest our whole into one person. Most of the time, deep inside we know that this person is not going to do us any good and yet, we dive into love obscurity. We get lost in the many moments that make it seem like everything is perfect and nothing could go wrong. Then one day, as per the many predictions of your friends, family and your own head, the worst happens. You get hurt.

Though it may be true that it was the person who hurt you or did the deed that broke your heart, but in essence, the reason you got hurt was because of the choice that you made. We are the ones who decide to be in a relationship with another person with no assurance that it will lead to happy moments toting a picnic basket skipping under the warm rays of the summer sun. We may not realize it at the time, but all those giddy moments and the butterflies in the stomach manifest into a feeling of utter emptiness.

We choose to be in them because we want to feel that feeling; the feeling of falling in love. And in those moments, we ignore the signs around us that inform us of the dangers that we will soon encounter. I may sound like a bitter broken-hearted pessimist, but I’m just giving you the harsh truth. We need to hear it as often as possible.

This is a warning for those who are afraid of getting hurt. You have to make a choice. Either you decide that you are willing to risk getting hurt to experience those “moments” of love OR you decide to pass on what could be the love of your life to salvage your mending heart.

I’m not telling anyone to choose the latter and pass on that potential true love, but rather make sure that you are prepared once you dive into that decision and know that it can go either way. We need to be prepared and we need to be ready if and when the time comes that we are going to get hurt.

Personally, I choose to take that dive. You never know where you’re going to end up. J

Choices

Everyday, we are thrust into situations wherein we are required to make decisions, solve problems and make choices. Sometimes they can be small, seemingly irrelevant things, such as “should I wear blue or red today?” or if you are trying to decide whether you will be having beef or chicken for dinner. Other times though, situations call for us to make tough choices. These are the choices that either take us an extremely long time to make or those choices in which we are required to make in a short amount of time without being able to create a rational thought about our decisions.

Regardless of what type of decision it comes down to, seemingly irrelevant or vitally important, the decision is still ours to make. Sometimes I wonder why we are given such power. It’s an extremely powerful thing, decisions, choices. It makes me wonder if we are qualified enough to make the decisions we are required to make.

Lately, I’ve been required to make decisions not only for myself, but choices that will affect other people. That’s a scary thing for me. For others, it’s very easy to make decisions that will alter other people’s lives. Not for me. I am one of those people who thinks twice before making a decision for myself, let alone making decisions that will affect others. Every decision I have made usually has a lot of thought put into it. Rarely do I make choices without having gone through a pro/con list either on paper or in my head. One of the most drastic choices I made in life which affected not only myself but many others as well was my decision to move to the Philippines. It was a choice I made rushed; in less than a week.

 Could you imagine? This is a choice that will affect my education, my social life, my career, my future. And yet, I decided to make it a snap decision.

The main reason why I made such a hasty decision was that it was a time in my life that I felt like I was stuck. I needed to either do this or remain stuck where my mind, my whole self was at the time. So, I did it.

But now, the decisions I have to make have to be calculated. They have to be based on sound judgment, they have to be concise, with full knowledge of all the benefits and consequences such a decision would create. And even more so than the rest, I have to make sure that I have thought about its short and long term effects.

I’m not a child anymore, as much as I’d like to fight it. I’m now an adult with adult decisions. Being in the position that I am also makes me liable for the choices I make. It’s a matter of doing the right thing sometimes and wanting to please others.

As a professional, I have been called many things. Some have called me an emotional decision maker, others have called me biased, others deem me impartial and many more have labeled me cold and heartless in my decision making processess.

I think about what they say, sometimes. But most of the time, the decisions I make are sound and just. Yes, there are times, like others said that it may be slightly biased, it may have been made with some emotion or rather. But let’s be honest and fair, I’m only human and those are human characteristics.

Regardless what people say though, I always tend to stick to my decisions, employing those pros and cons, and after having had deliberations with people that I find the most influential people in my life today or have been in the past. They are usually the ones outside of the situation. They are people who I know will give me an outsider’s look on the situation. I rely on them so much, sometimes I believe it’s a good thing, but my dad always taught me to make sure that at the end of it all, the decision is mine.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. That’s all I have to say now. I mean, read that. This is the worst writing I’ve done ever. EVER.

I just need some time away. Away from everything. Choices. haaaay. Choices. urgh. lol. I’m letting out some frustration, obviously.

The End. (…of this blog post, but not of the frustration.)